Thursday, November 19, 2009

anxious with emotions

today i am anxious. partly because i have a doctors appointment, partly because i am taking erik with me to my doctors appointment and mostly because i will be discussing issues with my doctor that are a part of my infertility. every time i visit with the doctor to discuss my infertility, medication, how everything is looking i get all nervous. sometimes more than others but my emotions are running high today.

adoption and infertility surround me everywhere. i love it and hate it. i love being a part of adoption, i love all the knowledge and insight i have gained, i am not fond of the roller coaster of emotions, or getting blindsided by them. i feel like this journey we are on has been great, ugly, miraculous, frustrating, and am coming to learn that i dont always feel like this journey has been a trial. sometimes........most definitely but other times i wish others could feel the miracle that has, is, and continues to happen in our home and family.

so today as i talk with her i am praying that i will feel a calm assurance and get my questions answered, that i will walk away with peace of mind and then as i drive home i will ponder on all of this and hopefully gain some perspective.

6 comments:

Brandon and Kim said...

Summer, having been down the road you are on, I can truely agree with your emotions regarding adoption/ infertility. They ar eboth a blessing and struggle in my life and I think they always will be. Hang in there

Cristin said...

Good luck with your appointment. I'll be thinking about you today, Sommer.

Jarom & Corinne said...

I hope it goes well for you! Man i wish we lived closer...miss you and i will be praying for you! love ya

Unknown said...

YOu are in our prayers!

Backwoods Browns said...

I hope your appointment went well! You sure are a strong lady! I know it doesn't seem that way all the time but you really are!

chelsea mckell said...

I'm curious to know if it's just PCOS you have. I know that's being wayyyy to intrusive of me... but having a severe case of PCOS myself, I know we've been able to get around it (with a LOT of drugs and "calendaring"). I hope you have a really good doctor that stays up-to-date with current research. And if I'm being inappropriately nosy, I really apologize!