a visitor and some daddy loves

this was our lovely visitor that we had last week. i went outside to take the trash out and there is a bush right along the side of our house by the door and birds have been staying in there. well when i walked by all the birds spooked and flew out, this one happened to think the house was good escape. this bird peed and pooped on the blinds.......lucky me and finally after making everything dark except for the doorway i got it to fly out. it was pretty comical.
this is erik's newfound love. a book about trucks that smash and crash. he absolutely loves it and will sit still while you read it over and over and if you pick up a new book he will look at where you put this one down. i got it from the library and am pretty tempted to go out and by a copy for him to keep. i didn't realize he would start getting into the "boy" stuff so young, but he loves to wrestle (well be turned and rolled) and i know he will be all boy here in the next few months.
and finally a love note to daddy. erik even wore sweat pants that match daddy's today in his honor.

-that's right haley his socks usually don't match anymore. every once in a while he gets a match, but he has joined the mismatched sock ranks. gotta love it!

the goods

so this doesn't look like much but it has taken me hours to finish each of these projects. the one i am most proud of is the flannel board, it was the quickest but i was intimidated by the idea. i have been wanting to make one for a while to use for family nights and also just for erik to learn and play with as he grows but was scared to do it. it was easy and i am lucky enough that i had the visual aids already i just needed to adhere flannel on the back of those. i would still like to make some fun felt things like shapes and backgrounds, maybe some bugs, dinosaurs, vehicles or something that isn't so church related for the fun times. but i am just excited it is done. i made the board pretty big but it could be made small like 12x12 or 8x11 to fit in a child's lap. i actually may make a small one for in the car since everything around here is such a drive.

i also make file folder games and paper dolls which was totally fun. and then a felt doll. i definitely want to try out more dolls and see if i can get better at them and will probably make a one eyed monster one for erik. i have been having so much fun crafting. i am hoping to work real hard on a scrapbook and then get some crocheting and knitting done. i have thus far only knit and i cant do more than scarves but i have a dvd to teach me to crochet and i am hoping to venture a little farther with that to make more than just scarves.

if any of you have ideas or links to other handmade items, please share!

the new walk

a wonderful friend let us borrow a walker for erik to play around in and up until about a week ago he couldn't figure out how to move in it. then he started scooting backwards and now he's really starting to learn how to get places. he loves to sit in front of the dishwasher or oven or fridge and touch and bang on the different surfaces. i think he bounces a lot when he walks because he also has an exersaucer that he bounces in all the time. i don't know, just a guess. but isn't he cute?

this post is in all lower case because yesterday erik got a handle on the laptop and pulled off the shift key and even though the cap is off it still works, but is a lot harder to type with so i am going without for laziness sake. babyproofing officially begins!

My men

Oh boys, I love my boys! I have been having a fantastic time with my little man while the big one is away. Erik usually starts to get really cranky after a few days but so far he is doing awesome. I think part of it is that I have tried extra hard to keep his schedule and I feel more laid back this time as opposed to the other times.

The above pic was taken a few weeks back after the men took a nap together on the couch and it was a lovely sight. Erik has a hard time falling asleep with people sometimes because we have been pretty strict about putting him in his crib or down when it's time for sleep so that we could avoid sleep "crutch"s but not this day......he was so content to just lay there.


Anyways Just thought I would give a little shout out to my manly man and tell him I love him! I have been crafting up a storm while he is gone and will show some pictures of the goods soon. Can I just say I love homemade gifts and also love making them for other people.

Sommer

is patience really a virtue?

I know that we are to learn throughout this life that it is better to wait for things that we want and need to have better appreciation for them and to learn other great wisdom. But I am telling you I am really really sick of being patient! I am helpless in the situation which makes it worse and I feel anger stirring, which I really don't want.

Erik's adoption was supposed to be finalized in August.......obviously that has come and gone. I talked to the wonderful court clerk who I am pretty sure knows me by name now because I call her that often to get updates and find out what is needed or going on and she tells me there is a chance that the adoption may not finalize until mid February 2010. WHAT?!!!! I felt tears welling up as I was put on hold so she could check on something for me. Now it's not for sure which is reassuring but with how our attorney's have been with us this whole time it wouldn't surprise me in the least bit if we have to wait until our son is over a year old for this to be done with.

You know I think one of the most frustrating parts is that we don't birth parents fighting us for custody or some of the other troubles that can happen with adoption but our birth parents are quite the opposite. The are both compliant and willing to do what is necessary to have Erik in our home. Haven't they gone through enough heartache and trouble for this to be drawn out. I can't imagine what it felt like for B when days after a wonderful visit to our house he was served with a court hearing because of logistics I don't need to get into. Seriously how would that feel? I can't imagine it felt great.

These are the days when I wonder why we have to be the couple to wait years upon years for our children to come to us, just to wait longer for him to legally be ours. I know some of you are thinking, it's just legal matters. But it isn't........I know he is our son, that he was meant for our family, and that he will always be a part of our family, but I am sick of explaining to people and having to bring paperwork to all professional offices proving that I have a right for him to be with me, that while his last name doesn't match mine but I am still his mother. And most of all I want more than anything for him to blessed in church and to be sealed to us in the temple.

At the end of the day adoption IS worth it, but still is a struggle. At the end of the day this little man..................................
..............................is most definitely worth whatever it takes and however long. Sometimes I just need to vent my airs. I can't believe I have the honor of raising this choice spirit of Heavenly Fathers. Because when it comes down to it, we are all God's children. I get to raise children here on earth, but we have the chance to return as brothers and sisters to him. This trial of mine will be with me for a long time. I know we are not done with adoption work. We plan to start the process over again when this is finished. You may think we are crazy, but if this is how we expand our family- then let's do it! We know we will and have relied on other's to help us with this journey and for that we are forever grateful. We know it takes a village to raise a child and we are proud to share him with friends and family. Off to kiss the little snookum's

Jabberwocky

Little man is getting much more talkative these days and while in the bath tub he just chatters away. I think he recaps his day for me or something. Most people don't get to see the chatty side of him because he is so calm and collected around others, but he will have something to say about it later! The car is another new favorite place for him to be a little jabberwocky. Since he sits in his new "throne" of a car seat he can see out the windows and he loves it. He still sits rear facing but he can see out the back and sides which is nice.

Little man can say some babbles such as buhbuh, booboo, nienie, nana, and I think this morning I might have heard dada. Of course none of these have meanings yet but soon enough they will!

back in the glory days

I am totally freaking out right now. I am so nervous I am trying to continously give myself a pep talk so that I don't puke. You see.........well when I was in high school I was a dancer. I loved it, it was my passion, I loved competing and the art of it all. I quit when I was 16 for various reasons, one being not having confidence that I would be able to dance in college or make a career of it. Honestly I think I was right. At the time it was a huge deal to quit.......I remember calling the dance studio owner to let her know and as soon as I said that I wasn't going to be back in the fall I just started bawling, I was choosing to stop doing my passion. I know it's crazy.

Anyhow fast forward 10 years and I have been given an amazing opportunity to dance again in the studio. How could I not try it out and get back into something I love so much? I have a friend who is a studio owner here and would like me to be a substitute teacher for when needed, I told her I would be interested only if I could take classes and brush up my rusty inner dancer. So last week I went and observed a class to see if it would be an appropriate level to get into. Tonight I attend my first class as a student.

First off let me air my worries so that when I go I may feel a bit better.
- I will be a woman in her mid twenties with teenage girls.
- I used to have skill and now I don't. Trust me I don't......I tried to do turns in my kitchen the last two days I have just about died of dizziness. Not sure how that will work.
- I used to be flexible, now not so much.
- Did I mention I will be at least 10 years older than these girls? And I "was" a dancer......no pressure, now I will look I have never taken a class in my life!

I am so nervous. I am sure it will go fine. I know I will be continously discouraged over these next few months as I work on gaining back old skills, I know my butt will get whipped into shape as I leap, turn, and boogie my way on the dance floor, I know my passion will grow again and I will be so glad that I am trying this out. But at this very moment I can't help but think of excuses as to why I shouldn't go.

wish me luck!

Som