This was me today and yes that is spit up on my shoulder. This week and this afternoon especially was one of those weeks/days. I am trying to stay positive but secretly I have wanted to lock myself in a padded cell at least once a day. It doesn't help that Linds is gone right now and have also wished we live in the same town as our parents about 100 hundred times these past few days. Let's be honest this is how I would look if you came across me right now.....
I am not angry but beat. Let's go thru a quick run through of some of todays events, shall we?-Got up early with Erik, nothing unusual
-Had a couple of girls from the ward dropped off because they needed to be watched, still going good
-After lunch we go to drop the girls off at somebody else's house. I was going to just drop them off and take Erik back home to nap but the homeowner's love Erik and offered to have him nap there and I could just hang out.
-Sure I say (stupid) why not, I miss adult conversations this week and a change of scenery is always nice (I tend to isolate when Lindsay is gone)
-Erik sleeps for maybe 20 minutes and starts screaming for the millionth time this week
-Has anyone seen a closet I lock myself into?
-Get a call from a center I had contacted earlier to try to get Erik evaluated for his motor skills under doctors referral, the lady treats me like I am stupid, like I don't know anything about his adoption logistics*
-Anyone have a mallot to knock some sense into this woman?
-The pair of capris I have on have started wearing a hole in the knees...no!
-Go home put him down again, sleeps 45 minutes and wakes up screaming
-try everything to calm him....takes me forever
-He won't go back down
-Is there a padded cell anywhere?
-feed him bottle and then some cereal,
-screams intermittenly during feeding
-watch part of a baby einstein video before the whining begins again
-time for bedtime (early tonight)
Me.....................utterly wiped out. I miss my little smiley man, the one who giggles and laughs at me. The one who will cuddle me or watch in awe as I read to him and sing. He is now arching his back when he gets into a screaming fit and it breaks my heart.
Hhhmmphf, tomorrow is a new day. I can only hope for the best. For now I am going to relish these quiet moments and read more than a paragraph from my book. Wish me luck!
*You may wonder what his adoption has to do with this evaluation. Since his last name is different than ours until finalization they ask my relation. I tell them and she thought we were involved with DSHS, I say no it's a private agency adoption and the nonsense continued from there. Basically she still doesnt believe me and treated me like I was stupid. Also she asked what his ethnicity is, what does that have to do with anything? Like I said Grinning with teethed clenched and bearing it
*You may wonder what his adoption has to do with this evaluation. Since his last name is different than ours until finalization they ask my relation. I tell them and she thought we were involved with DSHS, I say no it's a private agency adoption and the nonsense continued from there. Basically she still doesnt believe me and treated me like I was stupid. Also she asked what his ethnicity is, what does that have to do with anything? Like I said Grinning with teethed clenched and bearing it
9 comments:
I love seeing pictures of you! Even if they are straight faced. It makes me miss you even more, if that is possible! The only advice I have is, put him down in another room, turn the music up loud so you cant hear him, dance crazy, take a few deep breaths and start again. Repeat as needed!!! This time will pass and your little man will be back soon! Thanks for the long chat the other day. I loved it and I love you!
I know, kids are really hard when they don't get the sleep they need. Charlie was a wreck today as well because of no sleep. Hang in there. People tell me it gets better.
Sorry you had a rough day! Hope the rest of your week goes better :)
(PS- did you get my email?)
These kind of days are so hard. Especially when you are by yourself. If it gets too bad, you can always throw yourself out the window...or...call someone if you get too overwhelmed. :)
Isn't it nice to know you're not alone? It is so hard when you don't know what's wrong. Before you know it he'll be able to tell you. Which is a good thing and sometimes not so good. You're doing great! Keep it up!
Maybe I have the wrong email address. Is it sommermoon@hotmail.com or @gmail.com?
I am so sorry for all of the frustration! I don't like fuss bucket babies and I love bedtime. I hope he's back to normal soon!
Yikes...I feel for you :( So sorry it's such a hard time. Those moments are the times I put them in their crib and learned to let them cry for a bit while I whet and took a sanity breather! It's tough. I don't remember but did you say he was teething or something? Oh boy though...it will get better! Hang in there girl! :)
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