My Cup Runneth Over

Wow, so I truly feel like my cup runneth over in so many ways. I will try to keep this post coherent, but there has been so much going on that it may get a bit random. So to start out this weekend my brother Nathan and his wife Wendy had a beautiful baby girl this weekend. Both mother and daughter are doing wonderfully, they both look amazing. I may be bias, but I think Ahnna (the sweet little one) looks just like me when I was a baby. I actually feel special about that. Here she is!

Isn't she gorgeous? I drove to see her after I dropped Lindsay off at the base for his deployment, so it was awesome! I hope to see her again soon! But I got a small case of the sniffles so although I was planning on driving there friday, I dont think I will expose her to that.

So this weekend after the wonderful news.....we spent the weekend with Alex and Haley mostly. The boys made a spud gun and shot it off every chance they got. We broke glow sticks and watched the potatoes soar into the air. I felt like we were 15 again. It was a nice low key weekend. As the weekend was winding down it then became laundry time and finding things that Linds needed to pack. This time seems different than most. We both felt more emotionally prepared for this one, maybe because we have a goal....I am not sure. So we talked a lot this weekend, talked about the strain it puts on us, how we deal individually, it was great to just talk about it openly with him.

..............Than Monday came and things were busy, running around. I took some fun pics to remember the otherwise morose day. Here they are....

A lot of people have been wondering if I am doing all right. Here we go...I am going to spew a bunch of things out. I am doing fine. There is nothing I can really do about the situation, I would rather move on than have a pity party. Trust me I will get there and have my share, for now I am pretty numb to the pain of having my love deployed to the Middle East. Yes, he is pretty much out of harms way but it is not easy having him gone and having to communicate on somebody else's terms. I am happy to be able to do everything on my schedule and have my own routine, do things around the house as I would love. I am excited that we will be able to pay off a large sum of debt. Prepare us for our adoption that we are getting ever so excited about! Before I go further I want you all to know that I am not asking for pity or for people to feel sorry for me...I am expressing how I feel so you can get a glimpse. I am scared to be alone so much and yet love being by myself. I feel vulnerable to bad things happening because my number 1 is gone and I can't just call him to have him to come save me. I hate the anxiety I constantly feel until the moment I see him walk off the plane. I love that he is doing a job that he thoroughly enjoys, hate that it takes him away. Love that it helps us value each other and our marriage, hate that this is what it takes sometimes to get that reality check.

Enough of that for now, you will hear much more over the next couple of months I am sure! I also got to talk to my younger brother Ryan this evening. It was wonderful...I haven't talked to him in just about 8 months, he was in Iraq with the marines and recently returned to his base. I love that we can talk as adults now, that he is maturing and wanting to settle down. He is seeing the true priorities in life, I am so incredibly proud of him. The protective older sister still comes out and I want to make him do things, but its great to just talk to him.

So overall I am emotionally drained. Not necessarily a bad thing, but exhausted nonetheless. Talk to you soon!!!